I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
