I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
