Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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