All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
