Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
