its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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