You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Let's get the cat blown out
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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