Soap is not a condiment
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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