they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
