Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize