if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
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