Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
We named our party play list daddy issues
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
