How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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