Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
