I wannas sexs uuuuu
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
