i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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