dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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