Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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