I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
