I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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