she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
