my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
it was like eating out sand paper
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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