she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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