Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
