okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Randomize
