Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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