just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
