remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
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