she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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