I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
