so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
