the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Btw I puked in your glovebox
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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