i don't like sucking hair
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
