Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize