everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
