Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
