We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
This couple is walking their pig around campus
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
