just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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