I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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