Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize