went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
dude i'm inner monologue high
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
there is glitter all over my balls
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