I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
