Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
