u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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