The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
