I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
