If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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