We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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