Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Randomize
