I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Drake has all the answers
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
