dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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