Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
