I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
