At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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