i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
