are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
