Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
