You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i just had sex bonerless
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize