he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
