Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
