sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
