I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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