brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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