Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
