I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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