my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
